We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
