So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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