Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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