actually, I'm a sock model
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
