Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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