i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's just like the Real World with babies
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
