Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize