my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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