if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He felt like a one man threesome
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
