This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
