I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I cannot find my penis.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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