In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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