I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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