Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
