I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
