So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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