Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize