what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
