Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize