i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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