She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think people are normalizing furries
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
