Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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