She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
