There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
