it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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