btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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