I love black thongs
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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