It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize