I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
