Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize