drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
