I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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