I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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