I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
