I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
