Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize