I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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