even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
