it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
