she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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