I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
