I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
