that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
