I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
