I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
