i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
