I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
