I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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