Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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