I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize