I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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