awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
