I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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