Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
