that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
