A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
In America we eat man semen.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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