I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
